SAW Antisensei   I       Where am I ?   Where we all are, in glass cages.   Don't even try to get it open; it's bullet-proof.   How did I get here ?   No idea. We all woke up in this place.   There is someone not in a cage.   It is the club chairman X.   Hey, X, why haven't you escaped yet ?   The door is locked with several locks.   On the floor lies a microcassette recorder. Let's play the tape.   Hello, antisensei, hello, belt collectors. I want to play a game. You spent most of your time with cheating, lying, giving away ranks, and accepting undeserved ranks. Now you will get the chance to redeem yourselves. To that end, you will have to pass a series of tests. Antisensei, the cages hold some people you promoted. Each of them has a key around his neck. In order to open the door of the room in which you are trapped, you need all of the keys. However, first the people have to get out of their cages. In each cage there is a row of colored buttons. If you push the right button, the cage will open, if you push the wrong one, the cage will explode. Thus, there is only one chance for everybody. The button colors match all possible belt colors. The button opening a cage has the belt color which corresponds to the real rank of the person in it. Antisensei, you can save yourself by telling people their true ranks. Belt donees, you can save yourselves by accepting your real rank and pushing the respective button. Let the game begin.   Overrated ? That is not possible.   Well, I always passed my examinations without any problem.   Me too.   Yes, and it was really arduous.   Exactly, I will now push the button with my belt color.   No ! Wait !   What ?    It is true. You are overrated.   But why ?   That doesn't matter now. If we want to get out, he has to tell us our true ranks. You can start with me. I am on purple belt level ... !?   Orange.   Whaaaat ? §$F/&U$C$=/(K%& !!!   And me ?   White.   Green ?   Yellow.   Ha ! I only got a white belt. It doesn't go any lower. I will push the white button.   Nooo ! Don't !!   Excuse me ?  No way that I am overrated.   The tape spoke of telling the true rank. There is one other possibility.   What other ... underrated ?   Well, yes, you have already reached orange belt standard.   Push the orange button.   No, first I want to know why.   For political reasons. I wanted to keep you down in order to give someone else the feeling that he ... so that he ... would do me ... favors ... and ... to establish ... my order ... in the club ... somehow.   You ... you ...   As we have just learned, the appropriate technical term is "antisensei".   Next.   I am on brown belt level.    No, it is purple, well nearly, actually more like green, but sometime in the future you might,  I mean ...   Push the green button, this !$&€/%# is meanwhile caught up in his own illusions.   Will do so ..... I am still here. It worked.   And our active vocabulary is augmented with the phrase "Passing with lying colors".   OK, everybody is out of their cages. Let's unlock the door. Move carefully through it and then along the hallway.   Who is doing this to us ?   There is the rumour of a renegade from the Karate-Doctor website, called Jigbelt.   Keep straight on, around the corner and ... a door again. Locked ! There is another tape.   Hello, belt dreamers. If you made it until here, you have realized where you are really standing and whom you are dealing with. Antisensei, you did not only give away scores of undeserved graduations, but you are completely overrated yourself. Up to now you have only been talking. Now is the time to act. In order to open this door, you need a further key. This key is inside you. The clock on the wall shows how much time you've got to get it out. If the time is up, the door remains locked, and the room will be flooded with green color. Antisensei, your black belt contains a strong laxative, and to get the key in time, you have to destroy the belt as the symbol of your charlatanry and eat it. On the table you find knives, forks, and spices. Make your choice.   I am the Sensei, I am the Sensei, I will not ...    . . .   End of part I     Part II © 2010 TDI