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Road Test

 

 

 

Dear petrol heads, hello and welcome to our road test. Today we will compare two cars: the popular Antidan-4 and the trusted Budo D4. First we turn to the Antidan-4.

 

Exterior

 

The appealing body work with its shiny black paint promises a high quality product and invites for closer examination. Its vibrant lines adopt instantly to any taste. Amply dimensioned fenders cover almost flat tires.

 

Let's take a look at the boot. Its rather small size appears much larger because of multiple partitioning and a mirror. A view into the engine bay does not provide any profound insight; everything is encapsulated and only the label "Super Sport Infection" alludes to the content.

 

Interior

 

The overdimensioned doors open automatically, almost pulling bystanders inside and pushing them into comfortable but non-supportive club chairs. Special headrests force the passengers into a soporific nodding position. A pleasing interior conveys a sense of obtrusive familiarity and makes one drift imperceptibly into a lethargic mood.

   

Continously self-folding rear seats reveal parts of the chassis. An interwoven set of colored ropes keeps the Antidan-4 together and elucidates its underlying construction principle.

 

Huge wipers obstruct the view through the windscreen. The rear visibility is diminished by a bobblehead greenbelt which is a load-bearing element and thus cannot be removed. Pink colored side windows cater for a jolly interpretation of the surroundings. The mirrors' strange curvature shows unique images in line with the product philosophy.

 

The equipment is comprehensive but misses the point. The purpose of tow bars mounted on all sides of the vehicle remains unclear.

 

Driving

 

Several safety belts smoothly embrace the passengers, signaling their readiness by a friendly click sound. This contrasts with the engine, which immediately revs up and attracts attention with deafening noise. While the horn resembles a little kitten's purr, the exhaust sounds like a farting hippo.

 

All cars of the Antidan Series are equipped with an automatic gearbox to which one has to surrender. The gears are hastily shifted up, which is indicated on the instrument panel by a series of colored lights. The contrast between high revs and gentle acceleration emphasizes once more the brand philosophy. Negligible torque leaves even the most sensitive person unbothered. 

 

The chassis takes the edge off any journey and estranges from the efforts of the way. The interaction between steering and brakes reacts reluctantly to direction changes. Most of the time the movable headlights illuminate each other.

 

A huge speedometer dominates the instrument panel. It goes up to 320 km/h, which suffices for the 50 bhp engine of our sport version. After 8.2 seconds it shows 100 km/h, whereas an independent measurement yields 60 km/h. The top speed is 150 km/h, although the sales brochure states flattering 280 km/h. Artificially generated wind and road noises provide the illusion of high speed.

 

The driving impressions can be summarized as sweet-tempered. Any dynamic manoeuvres are suppressed by the compulsory track-control system, and the integrated distance control function prevents overtaking even extremely slow vehicles.

 

On the dashboard few and hardly visible control instruments can be detected. During the entire ride, a display lights up, warning of grave defects. The manufacturer knows this and recommends to ignore it.

 

Reliability and Quality

 

We decide to end the test drive of our first candidate and return to the base. When switching on the navigation system, a pack of maps falls out of the glove compartment.

 

After turning off the ignition, the Antidan-4's engine continues running, and the key resists getting pulled out. One is inclined to think that the vehicle doesn't want the occupants to leave. This impression is strengthened when the belt buckles cannot be unlocked even by use of considerable force. Eventually we give up and with some acrobatic moves wriggle out of the ropes. Now the once so easy-handling doors won't open. 

 

Our calls for help are answered by the side windows going up. Simultaneously, the CD player spreads promotional statements from the manufacturer. Switching it off fails because of missing control buttons.

 

We will probably have to wait until the car runs out of electricity or disintegrates. Until then - goodbye.

 

 2006  SWV + TDI

 

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