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A Walk Through The Park




Welcome to a tour of one of the most modern parklands. It showcases everything nature has to offer, from fauna, flora and fungi to microplastics and e-scooters. 


Lavishly laid out gardens make for entertaining strolls. Footpaths lined with muscular hedges are crossing the entire terrain. On open spaces the paintings of old masters are replicated with colored plants.


Hills with smooth slopes encourage climbing. On the top, sashes made of black tulips are handed over as a reward. For relaxing there is a purple lawn where rectangular bananas are served, one of the many in-house developments, designed to prevent the dreaded rolling away. If you like you can lie under a strawberry palm and wait until a zebra fruit will drop into your mouth.


The entire park is patrolled by security staff armed with shovels and buckets. Rumour says that compost heaps augmented with Artificial Intelligence have ganged up and are now harassing visitors.


All sights can be reached either by long pathways or fast and easily over shabby bridges.


People are encouraged to pluck as many colorful and critically endangered flowers as they like.  


Music lovers are presented a special treat. It is the symphony for orchestra, mezzo-soprano and leaf blower, which is blacklisted in even the most liberal countries. At its premiere, composer and musicians were pelted with frozen food.


The social media generation gets a petting zoo with piranhas and the box jellyfish challenge. Everything is streamed and commentated in the dragnet. 


Risk-loving persons are offered a unique casino. Passing a row of Whack-A-Mole machines with real moles, one arrives at the "Habitat Roulette". In its center you find a pond, generously enriched with plastic parts, chemical residues and old dragnets. In the lounge, the guests can purchase ducks, fish and penguins. These are personalized with computer chips and launched into the water. Then one can place bets on which animal will expire first, and the owner of the animal which perseveres the longest will win the jackpot.


We leave this attrection and go to the desert landscape with tame cactuses and vegan snakes. Originally this area was a meadow orchard whose upkeep was left to an autonomous garden robot.


Even this park has its scandals. Off the guided routes stands a large aviary that is completely empty. All parrots have intentionally flown into a running wind turbine after an attempt to teach them politically correct language.

The educational trail of bad decisioins leads to the large animal enclosure, which is completely closed to the public.

Just after the opening of the site, a group of influencers were arrested after having thrown cosmetic products into the open mouths of hippos. And there were even further incidents. To protest against climate change, a group of activists had glued themselves to the butt of an elephant. This caused the animal severe diarrhea and - well - we all know the clips from the internet. 


Sticking out a mile is a huge hall. Here used to be a mixed forest that was not well received by the visitors. Thereupon it was cut down, new trees were planted and everything was covered with a roof. Now the facility is successfully marketed as Wood-World Experience with an entrance fee and the especially popular flatrate, which allows to smell at all flowers.


The way back leads through caved out oak trees and past genetically modified orchids with metallic looks and Dolby Atmos sound. Then we are flabbergasted by a field of sun flowers optimized with Artificial Stupidity, which are harvesting themselves.  



On that note we end our short overview. The bottom line is that the symbolic density of this scenery will make any black hole jealous. We do not dare to ponder what the future still has in stock and say goodbye until the next but one time.


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