The Best Martial
Art
A Budo Fable
One managed to sign the bear as instructor for the big
martial arts training course. He was renowned for his power, his
strength, his tenacity, stamina, tactics, speed, and a worthy
ambassador for Bear-Do, the way of the dynamic paw. Many animals set
off for the
event.
After the official welcome, the
warming-up began. Here the cats shone at stretching but achieved
only limited success with
push-ups. While the flamingos excelled in
keeping balance, they failed at leap frogging with the chimpanzees.
A moment later, the cows capitulated
when being confronted with
somersaults. Lateral rolling made the snails panic, and the ostrich
was floored by climbing. Facing handstands, the giraffe sneaked out
of the gym, accompanied by the scorpion, who had stung himself
attempting sit-ups. All routines left the crocodile
cold, and the relaxation part pushed it to the edge of
composure.
The techniques performed by the
bear were first-rate, and the participants strived to emulate them.
Exercises for quick acceleration
and sudden changes of direction generated self-doubts in earthworm
and spermwhale. Explosive bite
attacks were not part of the butterfly's repertoire, and the
pelicans foundered on claw techniques. Feisty paw swipes left the
hare beaten.
Bobbing and weaving baffled the
tiger, the bull waited for using his horns, and the kangaroo dreamed
of long leaps. In his pool, the frustrated shark swam in ovals, and
the eagle sat depressed in a corner next to sobbing penguins,
while elephants and piranhas were discouraged by the bear's artfully
executed foot sweeps. The attack principle of a fast approaching
hulk was received by the duck with academic interest
and showed hamster and jellyfish their limits. Sheep and
frog tried relentlessly to copy the battle cry, and the owl
focused on mental
aspects.
Only the hippo followed the
bear's explanations up to the point where he put special emphasis on
the philosophy of smooth transition from four paw running to two paw
upright walking. Thereafter the evasion moves from sloth and koala
created unforgettable moments, which were only surpassed by the
partner training between pig and
peacock.
The class concluded with
gymnastics, which immediately demoralized the mussels, while the
prospect of further stretching exercises daunted the water buffalo.
Soon after, cat and blowfish refused their mutual massage. Breathing
techniques brought the dogs close to unconsciousness, and the
chameleon meditated itself invisible. Just in time for bow off, the
tortoise finished her ten lap run from the warm-up. The training
seminar ended with bidding farewell to the bear and presenting him
with an assortment of honey specialities, which caused an affront to
the
bees.
The event left mixed
feelings, even though no one doubted the
bear's qualification. Subsequently one could witness the emergence
of
many interest groups. One of the largest formations was the
water league, helmed by Shark-Do, the way of the empty jaw. Although
anxious for integrating as many factions as possible,
the break-away of corals and sea urchins became
imminent.
Over time, the question was
raised what the best of all fighting systems would be. There
were elaborate comparisons and passionate ideological debates,
primarily regarding the two leading doctrines Shark-Do and
Bear-Do.
In order to settle the
dispute and to determine the best fighting style, it was suggested
to stage a match between bear and shark. The bear lobby offered the
place in front of the great cave as a battle arena. The shark
lobby declined and proposed to throw the bear into a near
water, where his opponent would be waiting for him, which
was refused by the fur camp. Soon it became evident that one
needed a neutral venue not favoring one contestant. Thus the idea
was born to toss the shark and the bear together high up in the air,
where neither of them could benefit from the
terrain.
The seconds of Bear-Do and
Shark-Do considered the tempting logic of this thought with some
scepticism, whereas the ranking list addicted masses anticipated the
event
eagerly.
And for the first time in years, in centuries,
probably since the dawn of evolution, a big grin took
shape on the face of the
eagle.
