Breaking
News
Welcome to our special report on the unprecedented event
which triggered headlines and shocked people as nothing else
did in the recent past: The local antisensei let someone fail a
rank examination.
We now cross live to our reporter on the
scene.
What
exactly had happened
?
Yesterday at about 2:35 pm, a green belt
student failed the test for purple belt.
Were
there any prior indications that something was afoot
?
No, everything went as usual until the giveaway
event was suddenly interrupted by this incredible incident.
What was the reaction of the audience
?
Complete bewilderment. Veteran minions of the
antisensei queried repeatedly if it was meant seriously. Yellow belt
students started screaming. Most of the examinees panicked and
withdrew their documents. When the tumult increased, the event
was finally
aborted.
Let's listen to some comments from
eye-witnesses.
What the
*** is going on in his mind. After all,
it had been paid
for.
This has nothing to do with martial
art any
more.
If that is the new common practice, I will
need two years for my black
belt.
This guy should be publicly
demoted.
He is the gravedigger of the budo
spirit.
It is utterly
*** ***, and I would love to
*** and *** into his *** ***
***.
Barbaric, inhumane, and
despicable.
First the idle talk about
tradition and now this. It's such a
shame.
Meanwhile the rank giveaway professionals' union published a
statement renouncing from the actions of the antisensei.
Can that be taken seriously
?
Well, this organisation mainly
represents the interests of hypocrites, imposters, and officials in
a most opportunistic way. In the past we have repeatedly experienced
the sharp contrast between talk and action. Let's just recall their
relentless denial concerning the introduction of micro-ippons at
tournaments. These days, awarding thousandths of points and
less has become common
practice.
Many things have to be clarified. We will now
talk to some leading
lobbyists.
Ladies and gentlemen, is this a solitary
instance, a populist symbol, or the beginning of a fundamental
change in graduation policy
?
Yes, on the contrary. Here
the antisensei reveals his true intent to please everybody. The
until now chumming up to the general public shall be augmented by a
subtle approach to the utopical contents-guided fringe
factions.
We of the alternative grading
group condemn this incident in the
strongest way in the name of all
green-belted life
forms.
The antisensei is under
pressure. He tries to gain votes from the quality driven
groupings.
It is so obvious. The single
purpose of this act is to induce a silent redemption of antisenseis.
Well, one should not generalize
and pretend as if someone was acting on behalf of all charlatans. It
is the doing of a misled
individual.
Excuse me for interrupting. We just learned that
as a consequence of the events a new martial art
association has been
founded.
That is true. Yet, not only a
new association was founded but also a new style. This was initiated
by some former green belt students who appointed themselves
as sixth master ranks in their new association. We
talked to their spokesman. It is the failed green belt, by now
a sixth black belt.
Sensei, how do you justify the
creation of the new
association ?
This step was an absolute
necessity to secure the very survival of martial art. Especially we
in the premier dan league do have a responsibility to live up to.
The emphasis lies on the preservation of tradition, respect, and
core values.
Master, we thank you for the
clarifying
explanations.
