Budo Fair
Ladies and
gentlemen, welcome to our tour of this year's Budo Fair. The visitor profile has changed a lot. Many
smouldering attitudes have now become the dominating
trend.
Industry and martial arts associations adapted quickly
and unconditionally to the demands of the new consumer
generation. More and more companies offer once ridiculed niche
products. There is the heated gi, teflon coated belts, electronic
kiai amplifiers, belts for left-handers, and the prewashed gi
with extrem-fought look. A vast diversity of kiai ringtones for the
cell phone is also available.
The service sector is booming, too. Workshops for
feigning technical abilites and philosophical insights see a
rush by applicants of any rank.
Marketing
specialists have discovered the gi advertisement and are about to
conquer international tournaments with belt ticker
ads.
A bit late, the tourism industry realized its
opportunities and can now post high growth rates for package
holidays including event-kihon, family-kata,
and wellness-kumite.
Finally, and to no surprise, the formerly tabooed
selling of ranks has now become acceptable.
Two new books should be highlighted.
First, there is the biography of the antisensei from
*** , titled "Four Dan Grades
on Probation". However, this year's surprise is a publication from
the Karate-Doctors. After intensive international research, TDI
presents his new work "The Anti Medicine Man", which has the
potential to cause uproar in entire
continents.
Of course, there is the usual
plethora of completely new products, one of which we are going
to introduce. We are now at the booth of
the Antidan PLC. Its antisensei protection wall "Antsenprowl" is without doubt one of the highlights
of this exhibition. The appliance is based on a
semi-transparent mirror and some microprocessors, offering both
screening from view and voice distortion during rank dole-outs.
Thus, repressions against anti-examiners should soon be a thing of
the past. We consider this a most innovative and useful product,
allowing each active charlatan an unencumbered new career in
case of a regime
change.
The
computer manufacturer MicroDan offers the
operating system Soft-Instructor, which guarantees a multiplication
of performance, accepts any input, and does not output any error
messages at all.
What will happen next ? When a big fast food chain
distributed authentic master certificates during their
Black-Belt-Burger week, the decisive step to automated grading
was done. So one of the biggest attractions is the
first belt vending machine, which supplies genuine diplomas in
which one only has to insert a name. This,
however, might soon be outmoded by the long expected online
rank promotions.
Before continuing our coverage with the presentation
of this season's gi colors, we will first see a demonstration
by the "Whining Brown
Belts".
