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Budo Fair

 

 

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to our tour of this year's Budo Fair. The visitor profile has changed a lot. Many smouldering attitudes have now become the dominating trend.

 

Industry and martial arts associations adapted quickly and unconditionally to the demands of the new consumer generation. More and more companies offer once ridiculed niche products. There is the heated gi, teflon coated belts, electronic kiai amplifiers, belts for left-handers, and the prewashed gi with extrem-fought look. A vast diversity of kiai ringtones for the cell phone is also available.

 

The service sector is booming, too. Workshops for feigning technical abilites and philosophical insights see a rush by applicants of any rank.

Marketing specialists have discovered the gi advertisement and are about to conquer international tournaments with belt ticker ads.

A bit late, the tourism industry realized its opportunities and can now post high growth rates for package holidays including event-kihon, family-kata, and wellness-kumite.

Finally, and to no surprise, the formerly tabooed selling of ranks has now become acceptable.

 

Two new books should be highlighted. First, there is the biography of the antisensei from *** , titled "Four Dan Grades on Probation". However, this year's surprise is a publication from the Karate-Doctors. After intensive international research, TDI presents his new work "The Anti Medicine Man", which has the potential to cause uproar in entire continents.  

 

Of course, there is the usual plethora of completely new products, one of which we are going to introduce. We are now at the booth of the Antidan PLC. Its antisensei protection wall "Antsenprowl" is without doubt one of the highlights of this exhibition. The appliance is based on a semi-transparent mirror and some microprocessors, offering both screening from view and voice distortion during rank dole-outs. Thus, repressions against anti-examiners should soon be a thing of the past. We consider this a most innovative and useful product, allowing each active charlatan an unencumbered new career in case of a regime change.

  

The computer manufacturer MicroDan offers the operating system Soft-Instructor, which guarantees a multiplication of performance, accepts any input, and does not output any error messages at all.

 

What will happen next ? When a big fast food chain distributed authentic master certificates during their Black-Belt-Burger week, the decisive step to automated grading was done. So one of the biggest attractions is the first belt vending machine, which supplies genuine diplomas in which one only has to insert a name. This, however, might soon be outmoded by the long expected online rank promotions. 

 

Before continuing our coverage with the presentation of this season's gi colors, we will first  see a demonstration by the "Whining Brown Belts".

 

 2006  HAW + UNE

 

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