Martial Ink   Episode 2   Hello, I am X, the founder of Martial Ink, a tattoo shop specialized on Budo motifs. Together with some colleagues we create images of the special kind. Our work is exhibited at rank give-away shows, in saunas, and in shower rooms.   Our philosophy is to run rings around the current amateur exploiters and then take advantage of their clientele ourselves. Time and again, people had expressed by words and deeds that they want to be cheated. So, when they do insist on that, they will get it from the best hoaxers around - us. . . .   In the morning we sent bills for pollution badges for locker rooms to recent rank donees. Most of them paid, and some even asked for subscriptions. . . .   Thereafter our daily business continued. Once again the antisensei from the *** club had an appointment. He told us he wanted to make a journey and for that reason needed a new tattoo. . . .   And here the charlatan approaches.   Hi, what's up ?   What can we do for you ?   I will go to Japan in order to meet important people. I do need a tattoo showing everybody how I blend in with the ancestral line of other great masters, and how I will lead them into the future.   Right, in two hours we will have some artwork ready.   OK. . . .   This time the bungler will get a very special motif: "Fugu and Chips", one of the most repugnant culinary combinations imaginable. This will get him the reputation he deserves, and we will get some cash. . . .   The quack is arriving.   Hi, what's up ?   Sure, here is the layout.     Um, yes. What is it ?   This is a traditional japanese globe embellished with western gold bars from Ludolph the Conqueror. It symbolises the symbiosis of asian tradition and foreign artefacts. Wearing this tattoo expresses appreciation and respect for other cultures.   Exactly, everybody wants to talk to me and me only, and I am very popular. I take it, maybe also as a decal for my future company car. . . .   And we did it, professionally and very visible. Now one can only hope that he will show it to as many people as possible.   A few days later the antisensei called again. He thought that his new tattoo was a bit lacklustre. Consequently we put a serving of whipped cream on the blowfish. We elucidated that it was the snow-capped mountain top of the asian part of Mount Kilimanjaro, and that it revealed spiritual calmness together with a high level of education. Again, he was delighted, and in case that this is still not enough, we will add a cocktail cherry on top, symbolizing the red sun from the Japanese national flag. . . .   In the afternoon, the notorious yes-man E entered our shop, some self-appointed guru from the *** club and also centerfold in the may issue of "Play-Barfbag". Our colleague Z had lost playing dice and was therefore obliged to serve him.   Hi, guys.   Hello, what can we do for you ?   Well, I want to express my commitment for my club and for my chairman. It should be something very simple, straightforward, and easy to understand.   Got it, we will draw a sketch. It'll be ready in one hour.   Fine. . . .   E does belong to those people who should be kicked out immediately, both of all clubs and of our shop. But we want to get at his money and to expose him in public. That generates motivation and suppresses nausea. . . .   Hi, did you come up with an idea ?   Certainly. Here is the draft.     Yes, well, this is indeed very simple and catchy. Does it really emphasize my intellectual profundity and philosophy of life ?   Absolutely. The underlying art style is preventive Bauhaus. It expresses unfettered dedication and single-mindedness on one's personal way.   That's me. Where would it be most effective ?   In order to make an impression, it has to be well visible. The head would be ideal. One cheek gets the Y, the other one the S, and the nose the E. The exclamation mark is placed on the middle of the chin.   Great. . . .   And we did not hesitate. Of course, it would be nice if this was sufficient for E to make a fool of himself. But we wanted to make doubly sure and go the extra mile. Some time ago we received a new kind of colour pigments. At first they are invisible, but after a few days they appear all the stronger. With those we tattooed the internet address of the Karate-Doctor website across his forehead. This, together with the "YES" and the "!", will give E's relationship with the antisensei completely new momentum. A walking billboard, eye-catching, free, and durable. . . . Later on, F paid us a visit to get a powerful tattoo. He thought about a portrait of the local anti club chairman. Over the past weeks we worked on a study. F wants to express his contempt for the duper, and to that end he will get a photo-realistic image of the charlatan widespread onto his buttocks. It stands out, makes a clear statement, and exalts the imagination. . . .   In the next episode of Martial Ink we will meet V, who comes from far away to get her tattoo. In the preliminary consultation we learned that she is active in the *** club and also values traditions. The tradition most cherished by V is the 10-3 tradition, that is paying 10 Euros every 3 months for receiving a higher rank. She will get a big 10 and a big 3, the question is just - where?     Until then ....   © 2011  HAW + UNE