The Dan
Bear
Hello and welcome, dear
animal lovers. The focus of today's report is on the dan bear. While
not so long ago the dan bear was a common sight, now he is on the verge of extinction. Well, you
might object that so many specimen can be
observed in club enclosures and at various events. This is true, but
usually the only thing those exemplars
have in common with the furry chaps is the name. Mostly they are fun
or sport breeds optimized for leisure time activity or winning
trophies at questionable tournaments with
nonsensical criteria.
The once versatile
fighter, hero of many stories, top of the food-chain,
and big role model has become a softened self-content
teddybear. Sure, he can still adorn himself with the well-known
outer looks, and he also hasn't completely lost his impressive roar.
However, this must not belie the fact that he
can hardly survive the
wilderness. His hunting instincts
have long been fallen prey to the feeding habits of today's consumer
society.
It is foreseeable that the
dan bear is going to share the fate of another popular species, the
butterfly. We all know and cherish the colourful moths, but it is quite unknown that these amiable beasts
once belonged to the most feared predators of the sky, until their
infestation by the
fun-parasite.
What will happen next? Is
controlled breeding and eventual release into nature the
solution? Let's recall the last attempt to set them free. After
having reluctantly left their cage, the dan bears plodded
disorientedly through the countryside. Suddenly, facing a fawn, the
bears began hopping up and down until the game left totally
confused. In front of a beehive the dan bears performed handstands
and somersaults in order to get the desired honey as a reward.
Thereupon the trial was
aborted.
Some conservationists propose to
familiarize the teachable Master Bruin with the usage of
semi-automatic firearms to enable him to survive in wild nature. Up
to now a field experiment on that score foundered on the protest of
hunters, who fear high casualties among
themselves.
Nowadays one assumes that the
repatriation runs incalculable risks, not only for the dan
bears but for the entire fauna. According to the latest
research, the spoiled behaviour of the degenerated breed can
rub off on other species and lead to a creeping collaps of the
whole
habitat.
Soon we will know the dan bear only from narration.
And maybe his very existence will finally enter the realm of myths
and fairy tales, together with unicorns and television without
commercial breaks.
