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Breathing Technique

 

 

Welcome to the new edition of our documentary series "Reality of Martial Arts". We want to find out whether the situation is really as dire as pictured by some people. Today we visit the club of X on the occasion of his recently published book "Breathing and Martial Arts - An inseparable symbiosis". 

But first a question to his longtime instructor Y.

 

What are the main reasons for X carrying the hopes of the budo world ?

 

There is of course the goal oriented complexity of his thought process in combination with traditional training.

  

Some people claim that the success of X in competitions is to be attributed to his pronounced constitution, and that he would be lost without his extraordinary bulk of muscles and his long range.

 

This is some vicious defamation. X has always been rooted in spiritual planes, generating his power through deep meditation.

 

You are advertising that was elected "Mister Wrecking Ball 2008".

 

Well, yes, but this is only a superficiality. The true X is the paragon of a renaissance man.

 

Let's see. We now welcome X, holder of several black belts and multiple tournament winner.

 

X, you are engaging yourself in breath control and breath power both in theory and practise ?!

 

Right.

 

How did you come up with this ? What are your philosophical foundations and do you see the spiritual heritage of martial arts endangered ?

 

Right, I was in the gym pumping iron for the coming martial arts show. And suddenly there was a power failure. Then it became dark.

 

Really ?

 

Right, and the air condition didn't work either, and suddenly it started smelling real bad. Then I stopped breathing and continued practising. So, first I felt dizzy, and then I fainted and fell flat on my nose.

 

And how does this correlate with ... breathing ... control ... technique ... the mental aspect ... somehow ?

 

Then I realized that inhaling and exhaling are very important.

 

Awesome, isn't it ?  Spiritual contents being lost, my ass.

.

.

 

Control room, control room.

 

Yes.

 

This cannot go on air. The guy is a complete moron, and his instructor had once beaten someone up who had asked him whether he was washing his obi.

 

Say that loud to the camera, wuaaaah. 

 

I don't think so. X has forearms the size of traffic bollards, and the other guy is record holder in endurance yelling at pigs.

 

Have you seen the book by X ?

 

Yes, in principle it is a market survery of air conditions. 

 

Crap.

 

What topics do we have in the future ?

 

There is a representative from the martial arts association, who wants to introduce 192 further belt rank colors, another one plans to introduce millipoints at tournaments, big brother in the locker room, and a group of people intending to put the Karate-Doctor crew into a re-education camp.

 

Do we have anyone from the Karate-Doctor website ?

 

The owner of our station has forbidden any contact.

 

Bugger.

.

.

 

X, Y, thank you for the ... talk.

   

 2009 NNZ

 

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