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Budo Zodiac
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Horoscope |
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Member
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Beguiling sirens hover over a black
vortex trying to reel in staff for all houses. Follow the trend
and get hoodwinked by established impostors. Maybe you can even
feed some kids to the quack's club. Your commitment will be amply
rewarded with opulent harmony and worthless rank
symbols. |
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Antisensei
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Indifferent satellites float at the
zenith. Take up the challenge to not let the old trade
of charlatanry vanish into oblivion. The fountain of potential
victims has nowhere near been dried up. Irregularities with
club finances can be swept under the carpet with the poetry of
tried and tested window dressing. Don't get unsettled by spontaneous
resignation of members. Make clear that founding unauthorised clubs
in your territory is an appalling mistake and will entail
terrible consequences. |
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Examiner
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Your sign lingers in the fifth stamp pad. A
posse of budo officials is chasing your integrity. Behave like
a grown-up and surrender. Mercilessly strike any compromise in order
to prevent falling from grace and jeopardising your
career. In history books your high rank will make you
immortal. |
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Official
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For years you have ridded your martial
art of form and content. Entertainment Budo has finally become the
leading doctrine. Reward your dedication with a golden belt. In
case of public doubts, point out that ripping off members will
secure jobs and protect the climate. |
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Instructor
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The train of budo association
politics grazes your aura. During classes, the rank hyperinflation
shows up with ruthless candour. Delight in the first students
putting rallye stripes on their
belts. |
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Helper
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Subject yourself to the club's
well-being. Be proud of your children's new ranks. Between
graduations you might humour the little ones with candy and indexed
movies. |
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Returner
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The ascendant of perdition converges
to your sign. Develop a sound alternative to returning to
the anti-dojo. Get a drilling permit for olive oil and attend a
course in underwater Polaroid photography with exercises in
interior shark jaw shots. |
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Examinee
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The dream star of genuine gradings is
departing superluminally. At the same time, give-away
certificates lure you to the dark side of examination rules. Be
realistic and follow the way of self-deceit. Jump on the gravy train
of rank promotions, and time will color your belt. |
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Changer
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Friends of perverted martial arts will get their
money's worth when changing to an anti-dojo. The eldorado of
stultification invites to a tasting of assorted flavours of hyprocrisy. All ranks
will be recognised and multiplied in short
order. |
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Fed-Up
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You arrived at a crossroad of
unequivocal decisions. Escape is still possible. But watch out!
The parade of adulterators seduces into imitating their scam. Leave
your current environment and do something else. There are plenty of
job openings for whistle-blowers. |
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Sponsor
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You've reached an impossibly low
standard. Fraternize with representatives from clubs and
associations to fleece their members. When you have raked
in enough money, you will be lionized by celebrities and
politicians. |
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Follower
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A constellation of doubts casts a spell over your
minionship. Devote yourself unconditionally
to sustaining the facade of your training environment. Nip
detrimental knowledge in the bud, and your countenance will blossom
in the mendacious pile of shit you call dojo. As a sidekick of
local busybodies, you can effortlessly make a spectacle of
yourself. During summer breaks, the power vacuum may be
filled in by an imperious rubber duck. |
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Sceptic
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Judicious comets reveal the shocking
truth behind the friendly veneer of always willing belt
dispensers. Be aware that true rank examinations are rarer than
a chess match between unicorn and
yeti. |
