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Budo Zodiac
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Horoscope |
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Member
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An antisensei constellation rules
your club and lulls high ambitions into oblivion. Enter the
loony cycle of fun martial arts at random points and
abandon control over your fate to the chummy charlatan. Cosy
sorroundings cater for undisturbed flow of bogus graduations.
The conjunction of seclusion and approval by belt dreamers secures a
fertile soil for justifications and more. In case of
doubt, confide in seasoned rank gobblers. At the end of the
year, critical thoughts are tolerated in homeopathic doses
and may manifest themselves in well balanced balmy
banter. |
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Antisensei
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Enhance your scope of contamination.
Harness the full potential of inexperience and gullibility. You
layed the foundation for your fiefdom by smooth transition
from integrity to popularity. Now continue with fortifying your
patriarchy with a feisty band of yes-men. Quality-wise you
will garner many followers by pulling the envelope. Above
all, do not lose sight of spoiling a martial art beyond
recognition for your own good. Remind yourself of your strengths and
practice opportunism on an industrial scale. In the long run,
develop an exit strategy in case of unforseen regime changes.
Prepare to abjure the disgrace of your past and to publicly
embrace your catharsis. |
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Examiner
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Your stamp bungles in the fifth black belt. A late
insight infiltrates your train of thought: giving away graduations
does depreciate your own one, too. Keep your
distance from underlings through a generous rank
inflationary adjustment. Protect your reputation by indicating
that you were forced to do it for money or career. Demonstrate
spiritual depth by revealing the grammatical errors on the
Karate-Doctor website. By all means remain passionate about
exploiting the unfathomable abyss of insatiable greed for worthless
rank insignia. |
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Official
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Face your responsibility. Initiate an
awareness campaign about the detrimental effects of disclosing
graduation practices. Take the offensive and write an article for
the good mood budo association magazine. Soon the promotion
bubble will provide you an opportunity to coquet with a two figure
master rank. But be prepared for setbacks because you might
catch media attention. Peak oil, environmental pollution,
casting shows, and anti martial arts associations
are considered the primary threats to society. Twinges of
remorse can be soothed by the money made from the
scam. |
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Instructor
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Charlatan blunders in the third club and
spoils your options to carry out proper classes. In order to
stay in business, you might consider to comply with the
demands from the scions of consumerism. Your true ambitions in
martial arts can be realized outside mass production within private
circles of like-minded people. At the end of the season,
there is imminent danger to get an examiner license and to
deteriorate into a donation perpetrator. |
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Helper
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The conman ascendant watches for
your arrival. You navigate between the poles of well meaning
ignorants and experienced accomplices. Do not get entangled in shady
practices. Do not sign any document containing a peon clause.
Play it safe ! Consequent withdrawal preserves credibility. Denying
favors and failing to appear at events is the
best rampart against infestation with false
friends. |
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Returner
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Your sign stands for nostalgia. This
year, ill-advised decisions may lead to disaster. Be aware that
enforcing your return plan will propel you backward. Futile
activities in the area of plant dressage will bring you closer to
your goals than rejoining an anti-dojo. A multi-layered
approach consisting of common sense, observations, and Karate-Doctor
articles will prevent you from doing the
unthinkable. |
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Examinee
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The new year allows you to live out
dark-hued fantasies risk-free when an anti-examiner
visits your house. Despite contempt from real martial artists,
you can assume that uninitiated bystanders will adore your colorful
merits. Don't worry to strike attention. You are not alone.
Display sympathy for the performance of fellow rank donees and
merge into a harmonic flock of self-deceivers. In addition, consider
to enrich your intellectual world by studying the autobiographies of
the easter bunny and the tooth fairy. |
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Changer
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Your plan to join an anti-dojo is ill-fated.
This century avoid club relevant changes. The sirens of a con
man lure you into colored cliffs of the anti-budo association
swamp. Resist the surge of doled out ranks. Watching an
antisensei run his scam will hopefully lead to an enlightening
experience. Top off your immunisation by attending belt
examination shows. |
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Fed-Up
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Your refusal to accept undeserved
graduations makes you a maverick. The outrage of rank imposters
brings forth consternation, rage, and envy for your steadfastness.
Utilize the attention to let the situation escalate. Ring down the
curtain and do not be miserly with the unsophisticated use of
profanities. Do not have fear. Direct confrontation with
reality triggers panic in belt
consumers. |
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Sponsor
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Your decision to sponsor the local
anti-dojo qualifies you for an entry into the list of most stupid
business plans. There you replace the up to now last position,
namely the "Tanning Bed for Vampires". Now you have to do damage
limitation, which means to emigrate to a foreign country where no
one knows you and no one understands you and which you have never
heard of and where no one wants to travel to and which no one wants
to conquer. |
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Follower
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The invisible fabric of social pressure
allows you to tap into the rich intellectual heritage of toadyism.
Your endeavor will be protected by the bond of international
sycophancy. Yet be alert about the infinitesimally small peril
of whistle blowers. On the other hand,
do not allow fear to question your minionship. At the end of
the year, there is a nice window of opportunity to please
the anti-master caste by defaming the iconoclastic
Karate-Doctor website. |
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Sceptic
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In spite of proper insight, you run the
risk of being poisoned in the pseudojo. On short notice learn
how to evade a posse of antidojo henchmen determined to reel you in.
Stay extremely alert. One can get used to any crap. Remaining doubts
can be removed by observing the satellites
of a self-adulating black hole. Retain the right
perspective. Do not stop short of drastic measures such as speaking
the obvious. Benefit from the experience of those who already
escaped from the rank
plagiarism factory. |
