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Budo Horoscope




The 12 animal zodiacs are generally well known.

Almost unknown are the 13 budo zodiacs.  

They influence fate and future in their very special way.







Budo Zodiacs



dead end

Plan forward and use this year for martial arts practice. Avoid contaminated clubs.

A constellation of turning a blind eye and whitewashing ensures a frictionless relation to the graduation authority.

The wisdom of a black hole pulls you into its influence. Set yourself high standards and forget them immediately.

Let the old year fade away with a torrent of curses against club poisoners.



bread roll

Stay true to yourself. Radiate superiority by running down beginners. A surprising insight comes up. Even your level can still be lowered. Expand your sphere of influence by asking toddlers for favours. Encourage innovations. The suggestion to build you a throne will surely be well received by your underlings.

The big budo event takes place in the third house. The increase of fed-ups initiates the decline of your ascent.




Embrace movie quotes.

Even in rank examinations your munificence should be boundless.

Don't get stuck within your complacent routine of churning out promotions. Accept new challenges by using multicolored stamp pads.

The career star rotates proficiently. Take advantage of your martial art's identity crisis and promote yourself. At the end of the year, unused rank certificates have to be disposed of as hazardous waste.




Prepare for prospective assignments. Become a campaign volunteer for two or three corrupt politicians.

Your sign stands for abolishment of discrimination. You defraud everybody.

The future is yours. Exploit conflicts within the budo association to place your cronies in key positions. Make a fortune.   Bet with outsiders that next year nobody will fail belt examinations.




This year you should set ambitious goals.    Try to raise the advanced class level to "bad".

Obey fundamental laws. A further reduction of requirements is a quantum mechanical impossibility.

During the second half of the year, the students' self-confidence can be increased by       full-contact showering.

Stay focused and avoid stooping to an antisensei level.




The budo bungler counts on you. Retrieve club renegades and get rewarded with the next rank. You will be assigned vital tasks. Scrutinize other helpers' loyalty to the antisensei.

Become a role model. Contrast with the crowd through especially far reaching preemptive obedience.

The year draws to a close. Get the anti club president his long-desired free and reticent secretary.




Gain fresh insight. Tell a fed-up about your intention and then interpret his ROTFLBTC.

Don't do it until having recursively understood the perilous serenity procured by the pivotal flavor of this sentence.

The wisdom of autumn leaves advises caution. Pursue more promising goals by breeding DVD players. Or visit the spa of Atlantis.




Insist on your consumer rights and demand 24/7 service from the rank promotion industry.

The examination rules ascendent rewards your endurance during the waiting period.

The giveaway star brings joy. As with all merchandise, there is a two year warranty on graduations.

The local antisensei has spotted you. Thus you have fullfilled the most important part of rank examinations.




Rethink your decision to join an anti-dojo for several thousand orbits around the sun.

The dream moon yields decisiveness. Better quit completely than aquiring anything seriously flawed.

Keep a cool head. Attending a graduation travesty at the targeted club will bring you down to earth.

Stay clear of the fourth house of humbug. Choose the lesser evil and wallow in a garbage dump of your choice.



it is high time

Stop fooling yourself and desist from decorating the sinking ship.

The summer break is ideally suited to forget the ramblings of the anti-master.

The comet of insight touches your aura. An old saying goes: Pull out and talk about.

To prevent being detected by the anti club chairman, plastic surgery must no longer be a taboo.




Break with traditions. Feeding a shredder your money is the proper alternative to sponsoring the pseudojo. At the end of the season, there will be ample options to beat your own record in wasting money.

In autumn, a window of opportunity opens. A company offers the free disposal of your money.

The end-of-year review exposes you as gullibility on a stick.



wind vanes

Separate orbits interfere for your advantage. This year, obedience and inability blend into a harmonic success formula.

Seize promising occasions. Reporting possible club renegades buys you lots of sympathy with the wannabe-boss.

Don't get sloppy. Protecting the system requires personal dedication. Prevent critics from talking.

Your efforts finally pay off. You are mentioned on the Karate-Doctor website.



question mark

Between January 1 and December 31 is the best time to leave your present club.

Learn from other people's follies. Read the heart-melting report about a disillusioned helper.

Get into gear and graduate from insight to consequence.

Tie a belt round a pet and observe how nobody cares about it.


2010 EWS + GNM + HAW + NED + SWV + TDI + UNE