|
Spring |
Summer |
Autumn |
Winter |
|
Budo Zodiac |
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx |
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx |
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx |
|
|
Member
|
Plan forward and use the coming year
for martial arts
training.
Abandon the
anti-dojo. |
Forget
any philosophic babble about the universe. Blend in with
your decadent surroundings, and everything will be
fine. |
In spite of being exploited you feel
indebted. You are suffering from the "Minion
Syndrom" and need immediate treatment. |
Reflect on the past season and
reward yourself by leaving the big bungler's
facility. |
|
Antisensei
|
This
year, the club's age structure makes it necessary to
increasingly ask little children for favors. |
Keep a cool head. Don't overestimate
yourself. Avoid meetings of more than one
person. |
Create
career incentives for your subjects by establishing the
position of a "prime sycophant". |
Don't let silly internet sites
keep you from regularly calling yourself the
boss. |
|
Examiner
|
Especially in springtime one can please
many people by distributing long jolly
ribbons. |
Remain
true to yourself even at full moon. Resist the temptation
to let somebody fail a test. |
Your sign stands for continuity. Bridge the
summer break by awarding ranks to kitchenware. |
At the end of the year, you will experience the
deeper meaning of "Do" within the beauty of the
stamp. |
|
Official
|
The future is yours. Prove your
qualification by inventing a new belt-color. |
Resolve inner
conflicts. Silence your insights with the certainty
of a new dan rank. |
It's time to rejoice.
The anti-association conjunction secures a further season of
unpunished going. |
Remove all doubts about
the justness of your decisions by indulging in your
bank statements. |
|
Instructor
|
This year, one can
again distinguish beginners and
advanced students by their belt color. |
Half year stock taking is coming up
soon. Thereafter find success through training potted
plants. |
The anti-ascendent advises caution. A direct
comparison with the level of the advanced class will drive you into
megalomania. |
The end-of-the-year review proves that
the national budo association's graduation policy renders all your
efforts futile. |
|
Helper
|
Learn from teachings of
successful footmen. Decent obedience will guarantee a harmonic
start into the new season. |
In the middle of the year, you will encounter a nice
opportunity to get recognised as a full-value
follower. |
Autumn brings peril. The audacity to
question your master's orders will put you in harms
way. |
This winter, your work finally pays off.
The "Play-Helper"
magazine nominates you for "Exploitee of the
Year". |
|
Returner
|
Before
your return you shouldn't miss searching the pot of gold at the end
of a rainbow. |
Improve your chances for reviving the past by
conducting an expedition to Atlantis.
|
The budo-spirit is playing hide and seek. Look
for it outside your old club. |
Rely on the experience of
dropouts. Counting snowflakes provides a spritual
alternative to the quack's club. |
|
Examinee
|
A new
year brings new insights. Purchasing a rank at eBay is not
inferior to a belt examination by the charlatan. |
Summer advances spontaneity. Save your time
and promote yourself. |
Even during holidays you
can eliminate doubts about your qualification by
volunteering as a willing helper. |
During long winter nights you should
watch your rank certificates in a chimney
fire. |
|
Changer
|
Avoid changes.
The decision to join
the *** club ushers in the end of your martial
arts career. |
Set priorities. The state of the local sewage
plant requires your undivided
presence. |
Watch falling leafs and a
graduation show and reconsider your
decision. |
Adopt a realistic
attitude. Extensive hibernation is vastly preferable to the
anti-dojo. |
|
Fed-Up
|
Be
alert. The anti-dan tries to lure you off the right path
by freebie graduations. |
The manual of your MP3 player displays true
wisdom. In case of an approaching antisensei, set the volume
level to maximum. |
The traditional agenda
shows the way. After leaving the window-dressing club, you should
consider to join a real dojo. |
The imposter pays a visit
to your house. Change your name and move to a remote
hotel. |
|
Sponsor
|
Welcome back and have a nice year, Mr
"Good Money After Bad". |
The annual tax return is due. Fill out
the form for negligent money
obliteration. |
Enrich your life with popular wisdom:
Money is not
everything.
This will become your motto of the
future. |
OK, now you really do run the risk
of being scaled down to the dilettante's friend and loosing
your credibility. |
|
Follower
|
During
the following twelve months, you will again succeed in
destroying a further piece of self-esteem. |
Detecting and reporting
anti-antisensei activities should be an affair of
the heart. |
Time has come to scrutinize your deep convictions.
The term "lap dog" must be celebrated as a
compliment. |
At the end of the year, your ability for
preemptive obedience will be put to the
test. |
|
Sceptic
|
Between January 1 and December 31 is the best
time to escape your rotten stamping
ground. |
Evade detrimental
influences by leaving the club of the charlatan as noisily as
possible. |
Consider any missed
training with the antisensei as a glamorous
success. |
Try real hard to fail a belt examination
and thoroughly observe the
outcome. |
