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Anti-Budo Horoscope




The 12 animal zodiacs are generally well known.

Almost unknown are the 13 martial art zodiacs.  

They influence fate and future in their very own way. 





Budo Zodiac





Dead End

Beguiling sirens hover over a black vortex trying to reel in staff for all houses. Follow the trend and get hoodwinked by established impostors. Maybe you can even feed some kids to the quack's club. Your commitment will be amply rewarded with opulent harmony and worthless rank symbols.




Indifferent satellites float at the zenith. Take up the challenge to not let the old trade of charlatanry vanish into oblivion. The fountain of potential victims has nowhere near been dried up. Irregularities with club finances can be swept under the carpet with the poetry of tried and tested window dressing. Don't get unsettled by spontaneous resignation of members. Make clear that founding unauthorised clubs in your territory is an appalling mistake and will entail terrible consequences.




Your sign lingers in the fifth stamp pad. A posse of budo officials is chasing your integrity. Behave like a grown-up and surrender. Mercilessly strike any compromise in order to prevent falling from grace and jeopardising your career. In history books your high rank will make you immortal.




For years you have ridded your martial art of form and content. Entertainment Budo has finally become the leading doctrine. Reward your dedication with a golden belt. In case of public doubts, point out that ripping off members will secure jobs and protect the climate.




The train of budo association politics grazes your aura. During classes, the rank hyperinflation shows up with ruthless candour. Delight in the first students putting rallye stripes on their belts.




Subject yourself to the club's well-being. Be proud of your children's new ranks. Between graduations you might humour the little ones with candy and indexed movies.



Disappointed Smiley

The ascendant of perdition converges to your sign. Develop a sound alternative to returning to the anti-dojo. Get a drilling permit for olive oil and attend a course in underwater Polaroid photography with exercises in interior shark jaw shots. 




The dream star of genuine gradings is departing superluminally. At the same time, give-away certificates lure you to the dark side of examination rules. Be realistic and follow the way of self-deceit. Jump on the gravy train of rank promotions, and time will color your belt.




Friends of perverted martial arts will get their money's worth when changing to an anti-dojo. The eldorado of stultification invites to a tasting of assorted flavours of hyprocrisy. All ranks will be recognised and multiplied in short order.



it is high time

You arrived at a crossroad of unequivocal decisions. Escape is still possible. But watch out! The parade of adulterators seduces into imitating their scam. Leave your current environment and do something else. There are plenty of job openings for whistle-blowers.




You've reached an impossibly low standard. Fraternize with representatives from clubs and associations to fleece their members. When you have raked in enough money, you will be lionized by celebrities and politicians.



wind vanes

A constellation of doubts casts a spell over your minionship. Devote yourself unconditionally to sustaining the facade of your training environment. Nip detrimental knowledge in the bud, and your countenance will blossom in the mendacious pile of shit you call dojo. As a sidekick of local busybodies, you can effortlessly make a spectacle of yourself. During summer breaks, the power vacuum may be filled in by an imperious rubber duck.



Question mark

Judicious comets reveal the shocking truth behind the friendly veneer of always willing belt dispensers. Be aware that true rank examinations are rarer than a chess match between unicorn and yeti.

2012  EWS + GNM + HAW + NED + SWV + TDI + UNE