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Anti-Budo Horoscope




The 12 animal zodiacs are generally well known.

Almost unknown are the 13 martial art zodiacs.  

They influence fate and future in their very own way. 





Budo Zodiac





Dead End

An antisensei constellation rules your club and lulls high ambitions into oblivion. Enter the loony cycle of fun martial arts at random points and abandon control over your fate to the chummy charlatan. Cosy sorroundings cater for undisturbed flow of bogus graduations. The conjunction of seclusion and approval by belt dreamers secures a fertile soil for justifications and more. In case of doubt, confide in seasoned rank gobblers. At the end of the year, critical thoughts are tolerated in homeopathic doses and may manifest themselves in well balanced balmy banter.




Enhance your scope of contamination. Harness the full potential of inexperience and gullibility. You layed the foundation for your fiefdom by smooth transition from integrity to popularity. Now continue with fortifying your patriarchy with a feisty band of yes-men. Quality-wise you will garner many followers by pulling the envelope. Above all, do not lose sight of spoiling a martial art beyond recognition for your own good. Remind yourself of your strengths and practice opportunism on an industrial scale. In the long run, develop an exit strategy in case of unforseen regime changes. Prepare to abjure the disgrace of your past and to publicly embrace your catharsis.




Your stamp bungles in the fifth black belt. A late insight infiltrates your train of thought: giving away graduations does depreciate your own one, too. Keep your distance from underlings through a generous rank inflationary adjustment. Protect your reputation by indicating that you were forced to do it for money or career. Demonstrate spiritual depth by revealing the grammatical errors on the Karate-Doctor website. By all means remain passionate about exploiting the unfathomable abyss of insatiable greed for worthless rank insignia.




Face your responsibility. Initiate an awareness campaign about the detrimental effects of disclosing graduation practices. Take the offensive and write an article for the good mood budo association magazine. Soon the promotion bubble will provide you an opportunity to coquet with a two figure master rank. But be prepared for setbacks because you might catch media attention. Peak oil, environmental pollution, casting shows, and anti martial arts associations are considered the primary threats to society. Twinges of remorse can be soothed by the money made from the scam.




Charlatan blunders in the third club and spoils your options to carry out proper classes. In order to stay in business, you might consider to comply with the demands from the scions of consumerism. Your true ambitions in martial arts can be realized outside mass production within private circles of like-minded people. At the end of the season, there is imminent danger to get an examiner license and to deteriorate into a donation perpetrator.




The conman ascendant watches for your arrival. You navigate between the poles of well meaning ignorants and experienced accomplices. Do not get entangled in shady practices. Do not sign any document containing a peon clause. Play it safe ! Consequent withdrawal preserves credibility. Denying favors and failing to appear at events is the best rampart against infestation with false friends. 



Disappointed Smiley

Your sign stands for nostalgia. This year, ill-advised decisions may lead to disaster. Be aware that enforcing your return plan will propel you backward. Futile activities in the area of plant dressage will bring you closer to your goals than rejoining an anti-dojo. A multi-layered approach consisting of common sense, observations, and Karate-Doctor articles will prevent you from doing the unthinkable.




The new year allows you to live out dark-hued fantasies risk-free when an anti-examiner visits your house. Despite contempt from real martial artists, you can assume that uninitiated bystanders will adore your colorful merits. Don't worry to strike attention. You are not alone. Display sympathy for the performance of fellow rank donees and merge into a harmonic flock of self-deceivers. In addition, consider to enrich your intellectual world by studying the autobiographies of the easter bunny and the tooth fairy.




Your plan to join an anti-dojo is ill-fated. This century avoid club relevant changes. The sirens of a con man lure you into colored cliffs of the anti-budo association swamp. Resist the surge of doled out ranks. Watching an antisensei run his scam will hopefully lead to an enlightening experience. Top off your immunisation by attending belt examination shows.



5 to 12

Your refusal to accept undeserved graduations makes you a maverick. The outrage of rank imposters brings forth consternation, rage, and envy for your steadfastness. Utilize the attention to let the situation escalate. Ring down the curtain and do not be miserly with the unsophisticated use of profanities. Do not have fear. Direct confrontation with reality triggers panic in belt consumers.   




Your decision to sponsor the local anti-dojo qualifies you for an entry into the list of most stupid business plans. There you replace the up to now last position, namely the "Tanning Bed for Vampires". Now you have to do damage limitation, which means to emigrate to a foreign country where no one knows you and no one understands you and which you have never heard of and where no one wants to travel to and which no one wants to conquer.



wind vanes

The invisible fabric of social pressure allows you to tap into the rich intellectual heritage of toadyism. Your endeavor will be protected by the bond of international sycophancy. Yet be alert about the infinitesimally small peril of whistle blowers.      On the other hand, do not allow fear to question your minionship. At the end of the year, there is a nice window of opportunity to please the anti-master caste by defaming the iconoclastic Karate-Doctor website.



Question mark

In spite of proper insight, you run the risk of being poisoned in the pseudojo. On short notice learn how to evade a posse of antidojo henchmen determined to reel you in. Stay extremely alert. One can get used to any crap. Remaining doubts can be removed by observing the satellites of a self-adulating black hole. Retain the right perspective. Do not stop short of drastic measures such as speaking the obvious. Benefit from the experience of those who already escaped from the rank plagiarism factory.

2011  EWS + GNM + HAW + NED + SWV + TDI + UNE